When faced with infertility, love and partnerships are tested in ways many couples never anticipate. Leading with empathy and respect will get you through the hardest time in your relationship.
Abbie Martin, NP speaks from experience in this blog. As someone who has had successful treatment at Blue Sky Fertility she gives advice from her own fertility journey. You can confidently take advice from someone who has been where you are.
Infertility is a Team Effort
You and your partner are on a team.
Infertility is nobody’s fault. It’s a challenge you face together, not something to carry alone. Approaching treatment as partners creates strength, trust, and resilience.
How you support each other as teammates through fertility treatment may say a lot about how you parent together in the future. Like any other team, it’s important to have mutual trust, open and honest communication, offering words of encouragement for the little/big wins but then also there as support to validate fears.
Communication is Everything
Ensuring that you and your partner are on the same page about treatment is vital for open communication. Before starting treatment do your own research and see what treatment you are open to and talk about the options with your partner.
Some couples find that talking to a counselor or therapist is helpful for meditating these conversations. A mediator ensures that both partners feel valued and heard in the decision-making process.
Conversations can run high with emotions rooted in personal beliefs, societal pressure, or individual needs. Validating your partner’s feelings, even when they don’t align with yours, creates safety and trust.
This process can be draining. Remind your partner to take care of themselves and honor their boundaries.
Understanding Gender Differences in Coping
Many men tend to compartmentalize, while many women may feel infertility in every corner of their lives. This does not mean men care less, it’s simply a difference in coping styles. For women, infertility often feels all-consuming, influencing how they eat, move, and even rest.
This drastic difference of compartmentalization vs immersion can create very different experiences, and empathy can bridge that gap.
Overall, the key take away is empathy, everyone’s experience will be different even with the same case. It is important to respect each other’s perspective and honor their experiences.
Practical Ways to Support Your Partner
Supporting your partner through infertility doesn’t always mean having the right answers. Most of the time just showing up with empathy and patience. Small, intentional actions can help strengthen your relationship and remind your partner they’re not walking this journey alone.
- Be present: Sometimes support looks like listening, not fixing.
- Create rituals of care: Small gestures of comfort can make a big impact.
- Allow self-care: honor the need for rest, hobbies, and outlets outside of fertility treatments.
- Offer reassurance often: Remind your partner they are loved, valued, and outlets of fertility treatments.
If you and your partner are looking for directions to start your fertility journey, we would be happy to join your care team.
Abbie Martin is a Nurse Practitioner at Blue Sky Fertility. She earned her Bachelors in Science and Nursing from Baker University and her Master’s in Nursing from Maryville University. Abbie discovered her passion for fertility care when she was working as a Nurse Practitioner in an ob/gyn office and after her own personal experience with infertility. Abbie enjoys treating all types of patients at Blue Sky Fertility, but especially enjoys the more difficult male factor infertility cases.
